Dr. Squatch: 700 days after my first order

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I’ve been using Dr. Squatch, every day now, for over two years.

Here is my unfiltered opinion.

Pre-amable

So you’ve seen the funny ads and the clever marketing antics from the doc, and now you’re starting to wonder if their products could provide something other than a laugh. Is Dr. Squatch really as good as they claim to be? Will women be chasing that manly scent and fawning over you, paying you compliments with blushed cheeks and wide eyes? Will other men catch a whiff and fixate on if they could only smell that good, the girl would be theirs?
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​The good news is, I was asking all these questions two years ago. Dr. Squatch found me in the spring of 2022. My wife has complained that I smelled like a teenager (you can thank my use of Lynx deodorant for that). I wasn’t actively looking for a solution yet but was ‘problem aware’. I happened to be cleaning out my bathroom one day using a pine scented bleach, when my wife popped her head into our en-suite. ‘Oh, that smells nice!’. As if by magic (our phones definitely aren’t listening to us… ahemm), a day later I see my very first Dr. Squatch commercial.

“You’re not a dish, you’re a man”… The advert goes on to comedically explain before introducing their most popular scent.
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​PINE TAR.
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​I couldn’t believe it.
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​The answer to my teenaged smelling problems, seemingly at the end of my phone screen. 

Over the next few weeks I was bombarded by Dr. Squatch adverts. I had visited the site many times since the first advert, but never with any real intent. However, the more ads I saw, the more I started to believe this could be the solution, so…

I cautiously placed my first order; the Suave bundle. Six soap bars, 1 deodorant stick, a hair care set (shampoo and conditioner) and a soap saver (a ridged wooden plank to rest your soap bars on). I say cautiously because the order set me back £64. Coming from the usual order of Radox shower gel for £1 and a Lynx deodorant for £3, the £64 Squatch order was a far cry from my usual. 

I’d come to learn that the Suave bundle would last me about a month until I needed to re-order; but it was just the soap bars that had depleted. The deodorant and hair care set will outlive the lifespan of 3 soap bars, just something to bear in mind for future orders so you’re not ordering too frequently. Ideally, you want to be placing one big order enough to last you until everything runs out. This way, you avoid shipping fees on smaller orders if you’re just replacing one or two items.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, looking back at my Dr. Squatch order history over the last 12 months, I’ve spent £526. I didn’t know it back then, but was I really ready to embark on essentially a £44 monthly direct debit? Perhaps I’m a fanatic, and I do believe this exists with Squatch users; a cult like following. I guess every brand has it’s roadies, but I do find it amusing seeing people posting pictures, bragging really, about their extensive Dr. Squatch collections (on Reddit) – note to self, the soap bars do expire – I don’t think I’m quite there, but lets just say if an apocalypse happens, I’ll be squeaky clean until a vaccine is created.
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​Before Dr. Squatch came along, I had never showed the slightest interest in a luxury skincare routine. In fact, I didn’t even have one (aside from a daily shower), but that’s as far as it went. I wasn’t precious about what product or brand I used and was perfectly content with the cheapest shower gel I could get my hands on, never concerned about what I was putting on my skin. I’ll be honest, I used to feel spoiled when I showered at my gym and used Elemis shower gel and hand moisturiser. I felt pampered, and it was infrequent enough that I enjoyed it without compromising my masculinity. 
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​Now?
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​After two years of using Dr. Squatch, I unashamedly can’t seem to go a day without it. I genuinely look forward to my morning shower routine as I honestly (sad as it may be) love using their products. The soap bar, deodorant stick and cologne combo (especially if they all match such as pine tar soap & deodorant + woodland pine cologne) have become a staple that quite frankly, I’d feel naked without. I even have a ‘spare’ soap bar on my bed side table that gently fragrances my bedroom, and acts as a safety net for me at the end of a stressful day. Pathetic I know, but I’m a very anxious person. Some people use weighted blankets. I have a spare soap bar. 
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​So, lets end this love letter and actually review Dr. Squatch.

What is Dr. Squatch?

Dr. Squatch is an organic, all-natural and handmade soap company that aims to provide men with a luxury and contaminant free shower experience. They have three basic tenants:

1. Dr. Squatch products are all natural (between 98% – and 100%).
2. No harmful ingredients. They have a ‘shit list’ of traditional ingredients they vow never to use in any of their products. These include aluminium, parabens and sulphates (that’s sulfate to my brothers across the pond) to name but a few.
3. Formulated specifically for men. We naturally sweat more, have more hair and are prone to more surface level dirt.

Dr. Squatch offers a wide range of products for men to try. While initially they launched just the bare essentials of soap bars, deodorants and hair care (shampoo & conditioner), they’ve since broadened their horizons and now offer a plethora of men’s skincare products. Unfortunately, if you’re in the UK like myself, you’ll have to wait a little longer before you get access to every product they sell (or at least each variation), but if you’re in the US of A, you’re in good hands. All new product launches are tested domestically before branching overseas, which means you lucky US folks get all the limited-edition stock first. 

Dr. Squatch currently offers the following products:

1. Soap bars
2. Deodorant sticks
3. Shampoo & conditioner
4. Hand lotion / moisturiser
5. Face wash
6. Toothpaste (morning and evening variations)
7. Cologne
8. Beard oil
9. Candles
10. Accessories

Why Dr. Squatch?

Why not Dr. Squatch! Let’s be perfectly honest, Dr. Squatch is probably going to cost you more than your current skincare routine does (if yours is anything like my old routine anyway) – but you get what you pay for. Speaking of which, you can sign up to a (contract-free) subscription that automatically gives you 30% off your entire order. The subscription is fully controllable from your dashboard. Typically, I tend to re-order every 3 months (unless I am really eager to try a new product launch). Given the time between orders and how flexible the subscription is (you can amend the date or cancel anytime) it doesn’t even feel like your typical subscription – it’s money off for nothing, so you may as well subscribe (even if you only end up ordering once).

Me personally?

I have continued to use Dr. Squatch now for over 700 days because the products are superb. I like that they’re all natural. When you begin to realise just how many chemicals are in your everyday store-bought soaps, it really makes you think twice about the products you want to use. This isn’t something you use once in a blue moon; this is your daily shower and skincare routine.

Once that sunk in, that this was something I use every single day and has a direct impact on my skin health, I could easily justify the cost.

Could the products be cheaper?

Of course, and quite frankly if you’re in the UK you’re getting stung a little more so on the pricing ($7 a bar in the US compared to £7 in the UK – seems a little unfair) – but the bottom line is, if you can afford it, then you shouldn’t put a price on it. Health, to me at least, really is one of those things you shouldn’t skimp on. Like a luxury gym membership. If it encourages you to go and be active but sets you back £100 a month, so be it. I’d rather have £100 less a month but be active and live an extra 10 years, than save £100 (probably find something else useless to spend it on in all honesty) and be overweight and dissatisfied with my health.